“Yep, a racist and a dog killer. Pretty standard around here.”
“Do you guys think anyone would notice if I joined your staff tonight? These fans are not happy with me.”
“And then Michael said, ‘I think I might start all 16 games this year.'”
“Let’s hustle guys, only 8 seconds ’til the next play starts.”
“I feel like I have a soul!”
“But I want ice cream now!”
“You be Robin, I’ll be Miley.”
“”If my head is so big, why does it fit in this helmet?”
“Nope, this doesn’t say anything about playing a ‘second half’.”
“If you keep playing well, you’re gonna cost us Jadaveon Clowney.”
“That’s alright, I wouldn’t want my autograph either.”
“Why can’t I get this kind of blocking in the game?”
“My mom told me not to talk to strangers.”
“God I miss the days when I could hit these kids.”
“Stranger Danger!”
“I wish I knew how to quit you.”
“I hate Subtember.”
“It’s $5,000 per knee on Fitzgerald or $20K if he goes out for the year.”
“It’s not you, it’s them. They just don’t like you in a bounty way.”
“Ed? Ray? Why aren’t you over here?”
“It’s so hard to dance in a suit!”
“And why is everyone so upset over Aaron Hernandez? I killed 2 dudes and y’all didn’t care.”
“Who thought it was a good idea to give Ray a microphone?”
“Nope, even at this angle our score still looks like a 0.”
“You guys have a really cool logo. When I grow up, I’m gonna get a cat.”
“Geno Smith, Rex Ryan, and Tim Tebow walk into a bar…”
“This is how I throw now! I’m re-revolutionizing the game!”
“You! You taught me how to do this!”
“I wish Marshawn would stop throwing those damn Skittles.”
“Hey you guys scored more than the 49ers. You’ve got that going for you.”
“And here’s one of me pretending to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa…”
“Someone tell me his feet are inbounds.”
“Get it? We’re circling you! Like vultures!”
Breakfast Of Chumpions 